These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.."
- Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
the bathtub test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director, "How do you
determine whether or not a patient should be
institutionalised?"
"Well," explained the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient
and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I replied. "A normal person would use the bucket
because it's bigger than the spoon
or the teacup."
"No," said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want
a bed near the window?"
ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
determine whether or not a patient should be
institutionalised?"
"Well," explained the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient
and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I replied. "A normal person would use the bucket
because it's bigger than the spoon
or the teacup."
"No," said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want
a bed near the window?"
ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Night to Day...Unbelievable!
From: "Christina Gochko" Add sender to ContactsTo: tubwizard@yahoo.caMessage contains attachments4 Files (1608KB) | Download Allpic04099.jpgpic30527.jpgpic02625.jpgpic01543.jpg
Thanks to Eastern Bathroom Re-glazing and Refinishing company, my tired
old 1960's black & harvest gold tiled bathroom went from drab to fab in
just 5 hours!! I was shocked with the results. It was truly a night to day
transformation. Feel free to use me as a satisfied customer for referrals
in the Easton area.
Thanks again!
Christina G.
(Embedded image moved to file: pic04099.jpg)
(Embedded image moved to file: pic30527.jpg)
(Embedded image moved to file: pic02625.jpg)
(Embedded image moved to file: pic01543.jpg)
Thanks to Eastern Bathroom Re-glazing and Refinishing company, my tired
old 1960's black & harvest gold tiled bathroom went from drab to fab in
just 5 hours!! I was shocked with the results. It was truly a night to day
transformation. Feel free to use me as a satisfied customer for referrals
in the Easton area.
Thanks again!
Christina G.
(Embedded image moved to file: pic04099.jpg)
(Embedded image moved to file: pic30527.jpg)
(Embedded image moved to file: pic02625.jpg)
(Embedded image moved to file: pic01543.jpg)
Monday, April 26, 2010
A letter to jessie james
In Washington an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his
nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die",
whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The House and Senate waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to
visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi,
"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly
help our images and might even get me re-elected." Pelosi agreed that it
was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his
right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy Pelosi spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to
be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life
after Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Reid. "Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would
like to do the same."
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his
nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die",
whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The House and Senate waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to
visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi,
"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly
help our images and might even get me re-elected." Pelosi agreed that it
was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his
right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy Pelosi spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to
be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life
after Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Reid. "Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would
like to do the same."
good priest
In Washington an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his
nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die",
whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The House and Senate waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to
visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi,
"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly
help our images and might even get me re-elected." Pelosi agreed that it
was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his
right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy Pelosi spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to
be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life
after Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Reid. "Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would
like to do the same."
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his
nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die",
whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The House and Senate waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to
visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi,
"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly
help our images and might even get me re-elected." Pelosi agreed that it
was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his
right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy Pelosi spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to
be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life
after Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Reid. "Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would
like to do the same."
Friday, April 16, 2010
“King of Bathtubs” (Wiarton Echo, 13 Apr 2010, Page 9)
“King of Bathtubs”Wiarton Echo
13 Apr 2010
In 1971, nestled in the hard working town of Indianapolis Indiana, Eastern Refinishing Inc. (www.easternrefinishing.net) was founded. In the early years, while the company was developing, the bathtub refinishing, reglazing, resurfacing industry was in...read more...
“King of Bathtubs” (Wiarton Echo, 13 Apr 2010, Page 9)
“King of Bathtubs”Wiarton Echo
13 Apr 2010
In 1971, nestled in the hard working town of Indianapolis Indiana, Eastern Refinishing Inc. (www.easternrefinishing.net) was founded. In the early years, while the company was developing, the bathtub refinishing, reglazing, resurfacing industry was in...read more...
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